Fast . . . food
Teenage A&W Cashier: Welcome to A&W. What can I get for you?
Matt: I have a little bit of an odd request, but another A&W didn't seem to have any issues with it. Can I have a Mozza Burger, but without a bun?
Teenage A&W Cashier: . . .
Matt: I'm allergic to wheat. I'd prefer not to have the bun crumbs in there to begin with, plus it saves you wasting a bun on someone who's not going to eat it anyway.
Teenage A&W Cashier: So you just want, like, the meat and cheese and vegetables and sauces, but no bun. Like, on a plate or something?
Matt: On a plate works great. Or even just in a wrapper. Really, other than the bun thing itself, I'm not picky.
Teenage A&W Cashier: Um, okay. How would you eat that?
Matt: With a fork or something. Really it's no problem. I've done it before.
Teenage A&W Cashier: Okay. Wait. What would I charge for that?
Matt: You can charge me the regular price for a Mozza Burger; that's fine.
Teenage A&W Cashier: I don't know if I should do that, because, like, you're not getting all the required Mozza Burger components. That doesn't seem fair.
Matt: Seriously. I don't care. Just keep it easy and charge me the regular price.
Teenage A&W Cashier: Okay, if you say so. Let me just tell the cook. [steps around the corner briefly] Oh! [returns to register] Oh no.
Matt: What's wrong?
Teenage A&W Cashier: Where do we put the sauce?!?
Matt: Excuse me?
Teenage A&W Cashier: The sauce! We usually spread the sauce on the bun. If there's no bun, where do we put the sauce?!?
Matt: Um, wherever you want to? Or leave it off if it's really that much of an issue for you. I suppose I'm not even all that attached to mustard, all things considered.
Teenage A&W Cashier: I don't know. . . . [sigh] No. I don't think we can do it for you after all.
Matt: Because of the sauce.
Teenage A&W Cashier: I'm sorry.
Matt: So, you're not going to sell me anything to eat simply because you don't know where to spread mustard and ketchup?
Teenage A&W Cashier: [considering that, when putting it this way, it might not be a great customer experience] Hm, I guess you're right. [thinks for a long time] Oh! [claps hands] Would it be okay with you if we put the sauce on the lettuce?
Matt: Okay with me? Uh, sure. Of course. Spread it on the lettuce. Spread it on the meat. Whatever.
Teenage A&W Cashier: [with increasing enthusiasm] And we could put a piece of lettuce on both sides, instead of the bun! So you could, like, hold it by the lettuce!
Matt: Sure.
Teenage A&W Cashier: With the sauce on the inside sides of the two lettuces!
Matt: Sure.
Teenage A&W Cashier: Cool! Okay. Great! Sir?
Matt: Uh huh?
Teenage A&W Cashier: Do you want fries with that?
Matt: I have a little bit of an odd request, but another A&W didn't seem to have any issues with it. Can I have a Mozza Burger, but without a bun?
Teenage A&W Cashier: . . .
Matt: I'm allergic to wheat. I'd prefer not to have the bun crumbs in there to begin with, plus it saves you wasting a bun on someone who's not going to eat it anyway.
Teenage A&W Cashier: So you just want, like, the meat and cheese and vegetables and sauces, but no bun. Like, on a plate or something?
Matt: On a plate works great. Or even just in a wrapper. Really, other than the bun thing itself, I'm not picky.
Teenage A&W Cashier: Um, okay. How would you eat that?
Matt: With a fork or something. Really it's no problem. I've done it before.
Teenage A&W Cashier: Okay. Wait. What would I charge for that?
Matt: You can charge me the regular price for a Mozza Burger; that's fine.
Teenage A&W Cashier: I don't know if I should do that, because, like, you're not getting all the required Mozza Burger components. That doesn't seem fair.
Matt: Seriously. I don't care. Just keep it easy and charge me the regular price.
Teenage A&W Cashier: Okay, if you say so. Let me just tell the cook. [steps around the corner briefly] Oh! [returns to register] Oh no.
Matt: What's wrong?
Teenage A&W Cashier: Where do we put the sauce?!?
Matt: Excuse me?
Teenage A&W Cashier: The sauce! We usually spread the sauce on the bun. If there's no bun, where do we put the sauce?!?
Matt: Um, wherever you want to? Or leave it off if it's really that much of an issue for you. I suppose I'm not even all that attached to mustard, all things considered.
Teenage A&W Cashier: I don't know. . . . [sigh] No. I don't think we can do it for you after all.
Matt: Because of the sauce.
Teenage A&W Cashier: I'm sorry.
Matt: So, you're not going to sell me anything to eat simply because you don't know where to spread mustard and ketchup?
Teenage A&W Cashier: [considering that, when putting it this way, it might not be a great customer experience] Hm, I guess you're right. [thinks for a long time] Oh! [claps hands] Would it be okay with you if we put the sauce on the lettuce?
Matt: Okay with me? Uh, sure. Of course. Spread it on the lettuce. Spread it on the meat. Whatever.
Teenage A&W Cashier: [with increasing enthusiasm] And we could put a piece of lettuce on both sides, instead of the bun! So you could, like, hold it by the lettuce!
Matt: Sure.
Teenage A&W Cashier: With the sauce on the inside sides of the two lettuces!
Matt: Sure.
Teenage A&W Cashier: Cool! Okay. Great! Sir?
Matt: Uh huh?
Teenage A&W Cashier: Do you want fries with that?