2008.12.14 Must work on the French
2008.11.30 Ninja 411
2008.03.24 aka yoroshi
2007.02.11 Now That's Service
2006.10.09 Duckohuff
2006.07.23 Esprit d'something
2006.01.25 Closed Caption
2006.01.17 Yarrrrr!

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Now That's Service
An older Chinese woman stands in the middle of the large Chapters bookstore at Metrotown Mall, looking a little lost.

A tall blond-haired bookstore associate walks up to her and offers help.

Bookstore Guy: Hi, are you finding everything all right?
Woman: Uh, yes.
Bookstore Guy: Are you sure? Is there anything I could help you find?
Woman: No. Thanks.
Bookstore Guy: 如果你喜歡我說漢語. (If you prefer, I can speak Chinese.)
Woman: . . . [Obviously perplexed that this 6 foot tall blond-haired, blue-eyed guy is speaking to her in her native tongue.]
Bookstore Guy: 你找什麼書? (What book are you looking for?)
Woman: 我要一本股票的書! (I want a Gupiao book!)
Bookstore Guy: 股票嗎? 不知道"股票"的含義. ("Gupiao"? I don't know the meaning of "Gupiao.")
Woman: 股票. Uh, 錢的股票. 知道嗎? Um. . . . (Gupiao. Uh, money Gupiao. You know?)
Bookstore Guy: Uh, just a minute. Please.

At this point the bookstore guy comes whizzing past me in a whirlwind of movement, and snatches a Chinese-English dictionary off a shelf nearby.

Bookstore Guy: [to himself] Gupiao. Gupiao. Crap.

He runs back over to the woman, who has been patiently waiting.

Bookstore Guy: [looking slightly exaspirated] 對不起. 不知道"股票". (I'm sorry. I don't know "Gupiao".)
Another woman standing nearby: Stock.
Bookstore Guy: [startled to be answered by someone other than the woman] Excuse me?
Another woman standing nearby: Gupiao means "stocks," like stocks and mutual funds.
Bookstore Guy: Oh! Okay! Right over here then!